I have to back up to Saturday. This was the first time that I sang at Mass. I was assigned to sing with a wonderful singer. We did sound good together, she and I. We had practiced together, and I did learn a lot from her. She has a beautiful voice. She took the lead, and I followed. It was a success. I left Mass feeling good about our help with the liturgy.
Fast forward to Sunday Mass. The cantor for the Mass did not show up. I knew that our music director would be playing and singing alone. He has a magnificent voice! I volunteered to help, if he would sing with me. He did, but I missed cues, notes, and during the Lamb of God, I sang the wrong song. Oh. My. Goodness. Gracious! It was terrible! I hung my head in shame. I noticed the smell, too. I had been sweating so much that I smelled. I slunk out of church avoiding eyes and greetings.
Brian had been kind. He assured me that things would get better. He knew I had been shaking, but I knew I had learned humility yesterday. Looking down at the Mass and the congregation from that loft opened my eyes and my ears to the wonder of a beautifully sung Mass and how much music can enhance the liturgy or detract from it.
I will try again another day, but I will never forget Sunday. God blessed me with an early Christmas gift. I learned humility through failure. I learned that through failure, I had been blessed because I could no longer look upon the ministry of music in the same way again. The seasoned cantors make this ministry look easy. Trust me when I say this, It’s not an easy ministry. Timing. Singing. Sound. These elements all matter. I screwed up, but I was given a good does of humility.
Thank You, Lord. You knew. I learned. Thank You!
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