Let There Be Light...The Gift of Insomnia

 "And God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light.  And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness.  God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day."

Genesis 1: 3-5

 In the night, we must use lamps or ceiling lights to see.  We humans are not creatures who have eyes that can penetrate the darkness, but it is good, for God made the night as a time of rest and sleep.

In our modern world, as sleep schedules are disrupted through modern technology and harsh work schedules, the night is often problematic when it comes to sleep.

Sleep clinics make a lot of money by diagnosing sleep problems and developing ways to treat these disorders.  I'm am in that group of people who do not sleep well.

Why? 

Stress, anxiety, worry...these are factors that contribute to my sleep problems.  I know I"m not alone.

There are many others who do not sleep well.  Often times we rely on modern medicines to "cure" us.

Sometimes the medications work, and sometimes they don't work.   For those who sleep well, I envy you.  However, I have learned so much through my gift of insomnia.

Yes, I did say gift.  Without this gift, I would not have learned some of the things I have learned.

1) The night really is quiet.  Even if you live on a busy street, the number of cars decreases at night, and the noises are often non-existent.

Jesus, this is a beautiful time I didn't know existed.

2) There are different shades of darkness at night. When you wait for teens to come home, safely, from their dates or parties, looking out the window does not bring much in the way of consolation when there are no cars approaching the driveway.  However, what you can see is that on a moonless night, even with street lights on, the cars in the distance are darker, but on the night of a full moon,

You can see way down the street as you wait for cars.

Thank You, Jesus, for getting them home safely.

3) Rain is most relaxing at night.  If you are lucky enough to have a tin roof on your house, to hear that rain falling and hitting the roof is a sensory treat that nothing can match.  Jesus did talk about many mansions.  I hope that I have a tin roof on my home.

Anyway, the smell of the rain as it flares in through the open windows on a cool night, can send a soul into near ecstacy, when the pitter patter sounds of the rain fall down on the home.

Jesus, is this why You gave me this gift of insomnia? 

4) Oftentimes, praying the Rosary brings me the joy of the soul, even in the darkest night.

The meditative, repetitive rhythm of the words soothe my soul on my most trying day.

Night lights, flickering like small candles lit in a dark church, make my home, my bedroom, my sanctuary where I can join Our Lady in prayer.

Jesus, thank You for giving me this gift of prayer at night.

5) When nights are truly sleepless, and I am awake at dawn, I have learned that being tired now, means a nap or a struggle during the day.  Most days become struggles because I cannot nap, so I pray and I pray that now, I might stay awake.  I sleep well the next night because I have no choice.

I am reminded, though, of the Apostles who struggled to stay awake with Jesus in the Garden, but could not.

Jesus, You bring me to You in these nights when I can't sleep.  If I must be awake, then I offer this night to You for the salvation of souls. 

Jesus said,
“I am the light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” 

John 8:12 

The gift of insomnia, well, it's not a gift I would have chosen for me, but it was chosen for me.

  I am awake in the Garden, praying.

I am awake on the mountain, praying.

I am awake in the quiet place, in the early morning, praying.

The light comes with the dawn.  

Jesus is the light. 

How blessed are we!