I had just graduated from college, and I needed to find a job.
I was still living at home, and I wanted to MOVE OUT ON MY OWN.
(I later learned that being an adult is not as great as it seemed then.)
FINALLY, even though it was out of my major,
and I didn’t need a college degree,
I was hired to work as a teller in a bank.
I know. I was overeducated. I earned very little money, but it was enough to get an apartment with a couple of friends.
Whew!
God had some lessons for me to learn.
At first it was great, then there were the disagreements about food, utilities, and when the rent was due.
I lived there for 6 months, then moved back home.
By that time, I was dating my future husband, and life was moving along.
I put God on the back burner, but I still worried.
I moved from the beautiful southwest to a very cold and backward town in North Dakota.
I’ve never missed that town. We left and I never looked back.
I was just worried that I’d have to live there for the rest of my life.
Whew! God was good!
When my husband finished his education,
it was time to worry again.
He needed a job.
We had no money.
It took three months, but he finally found a good job.
And then it was time to move on again.
I worried and worried.
We moved from Colorado to Nebraska for the job.
(He was an FBI agent.)
God was still on the back burner for me,
From Nebraska we moved to Iowa and then to Chicago.
I worried about living in the big city.
I worried about his commute from the City to home.
I worried about my children and their safety.
I just worried.
I was an example for Martha who was anxious about so many things.
Do you see the trend here?
We moved back to the midwest and north to Minnesota.
The stirrings of God’s Holy Spirit were beginning in my soul, but I still worried.
Eventually my husband of 34 years died from a terrible cancer.
I was exhausted from worry.
A few years later, my daughter developed the same incurable cancer that took my husband’s life.
I do worry about her, but I think that’s okay.
(She’s a figure of great courage and strength in her battle with cancer.)
Worry. Worry. Worry.
Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety.
Such a waste, when in spite of the challenges life has thrown at us, my worry solved nothing.
I learned that
no matter how hard we try. No matter how much effort we make, things work better when we step aside and let God do the work for us. He is after all, God. He’s got the job of working miracles, not me.
My worry got me nothing except wrinkles.
I am only now beginning to learn to give up the need to control.
That’s not easy after so many years of this habit.
Now, there is less worry, even though the problems are still there.
I have more peace.
God has been good to me.
A very patient father He is.
He’s taught me some very important lessons.
I’m working on these lessons.
I pray for God’s guidance as I journey to the end of my life.
Oh,
Lord, God,
You are greater than all Your works! Your might is shown in Your creation! We stand in awe at Your handiwork. Help us to trust You. Give us the courage and strength to step aside as You work in our lives and in the lives of those we love. Give us the gift of trust to know that You love us and all those souls whom You created. Help us to let go and surrender to You all those things that cause us anxiety and stress. Help us to remember that You are the God of creation, the great I AM, the God of Abraham. Thank You, Heavenly Father, for all that we have received.
Let us show You our love through trust.
Amen.
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